Working through sentimental clutter can be difficult. We all have those objects we hold on to but we no longer need, use or maybe even want. The emotional attachment to these items can be hard to work through. But there is no need to let the clutter of the past hold us back from the chaos free life we strive for.
I am a big fan of living with less, and I have the joy of helping people declutter their lives. A big part of this process is purging. Getting rid of precious objects and all that is attached to those items feels like we are throwing out the memories. However, holding onto stuff will not help us remember. Our hearts and our family will do that for us. This sentimental clutter builds up and sooner or later our quality of life suffers; present has been taken over by all of our past clutter.
I get it this is not an easy thing to work through, so I have put together some tips to help you move through this process. Keep in mind that we all process differently. Leave room for modifications and GRACE (for yourself and others, if this is a joint effort).
1. Set your keeping limit.
I am going to assume that if you have made it to step one in this process you are already committed to the decluttering process. Now you need to know what you want to make room for in your life. Does what you keep need to fit in a trunk? Do you have a box that is going to hold your mementos? One of my sisters creates amazing shadow boxes of memories. Decide your space limits going into the process and keep it in mind as you look at each item.
2. Create a good head space.
Set your personal mind space before you begin. There are two things I am often repeating to clients when we reach this stage:
Don’t let guilt be your guide. You can let go of a gift. Once it becomes a burden it is time to let it go. I can make a pretty good guess that the person who gave you the gift would wish you joy not stress.
Don’t should on yourself. If you look at something and the first words out of your mouth are “ I really should keep this because…” you probably SHOULD pass it on. This may not be true for every item, but take an extra minute to think through any shoulds.
3. Create a good work space
Make sure to have some basic supplies on hand to keep the decluttering energy going. Here are some I like to have handy: boxes or bags for consignment and donation, a few boxes or bags for items to be sent to friends and family, and items that need a little bit more input. Grab a notepad, a pad of sticky notes, a Sharpie, tape and a knife for opening things.
4. The big “Kondo” question: does it spark joy? Duhn…duhn…duhn
“Hold each item in your hands, as close to your heart as possible,” she says. “And then, pay close attention to how your body responds. When something sparks joy, you should feel a little thrill running through your body, as if your body is somehow slowly rising up to meet the item, embracing it even.” – Marie Kondo
I am totally going to borrow the Kondo creed here: the true test to whether to keep it or not is to ask yourself, “Does this object (whatever it is) spark joy?” If you have to physically touch it that is fine, but I have to say that as soon as I see an item I know right away if we have that connection. If it fits and you connect then keep it, guilt free. If not, feel free to pass it on. Did you catch that? No guilt, no “I should really”… Insert Frozen song here..”Let it go! Let it go!”
5. Keep one from a collection.
If you are finding yourself sorting through a collection or are ready to get rid of a personal collection of things, keep one. My mom had several collections of things. They all brought her joy and she would not want us to keep the collections if they did not bring us the same delight. Having my morning coffee in my strawberry mug is a special treat. Seeing the little orange airplane my dad had in his office sitting on my bookshelf makes me smile. I did not need the entire collection. There are so many items of sentimental value, from our own lives and from our childrens’ lives and from our parents’/grandparents’ lives that it’s too overwhelming a task to think about what to toss aside.
Warning! Warning! Be careful that you are not just passing on meaningless heirlooms so the next generation has clutter ( and guilt) to deal with. Be responsible with what you chose to pass on and what you can take care of now.
“Focus not on what to chuck, but on what to keep.” – Marie Kondo
Decluttering sentimental items is an ongoing process. Now that you have done the hard work make plans to maintain it. Decide how much space you want to surrender for future sentimental stuff and create systems that work for you and can be managed as a family.