The hard news is that they do not want our “stuff.” Don’t take it personal. There is a huge shift in values happening. Where Baby Boomers saw setting up well-appointed homes as the measure of “making it, “millennials value the freedom to create new experiences. So as the Baby Boomer generation is looking to downsize and share their treasures, they find that their children are not interested in their stuff.
Where the Boomers focused on the quality of pieces and making do with hand-me-down family heirlooms, those born between the years 1980 and 2000 have no interest in taking on these burdens. They would rather have the freedom to get what works for them now (they can always replace it with something later). The large bulky and usually darker pieces are not to their taste and there are so many other choices. Why not get what they want and works for them right now?
“We were never meant to live life accumulating stuff. We were meant to live simply enjoying the experiences of life, the people of life, and the journey of life – not the things of life.”
― Joshua Becker
Now before we start ranting about “how wasteful” and “don’t they understand”, let’s talk about why this is happening.
Millennials see stuff as something that may hold them back from jumping at the next experience. This even applies to homes. Many millennials are choosing to rent smaller simpler homes so that they have more time to do the things they love with the people they enjoy. Going on adventures and spending time with friends is more valuable than cleaning and dusting “stuff”. And let’s be honest, that does sound delightful.
This younger generation is also less sentimental. Their lives move fast and are memorialized so quickly with the snap of a phone. Memories that once were planned, curated, collected, and then sent off to be developed are now instantaneously enjoyed and shared with the universe. They are okay with appreciating a memory and moving on to the next one. Sentimental items may be enjoyed but not physically held onto forever. They may snap a quick photo or a selfie with it to share on their socials and then they are ready for the next memory.
“More than three in four millennials (78%) would choose to spend money on an experience or event over buying something desirable” (Harris study)
Here are some of my thoughts on how to move forward in this transition of life without feeling “stuck”.
First, talk with those you have been planning to hand your stuff down to. It may surprise you how little of your things they will want. Try not to guilt them into taking what you think is valuable and honor their perspective and their space.
Second, and I will say this as nicely as I can, your stuff is not worth as much as you think it is. Try not to take is personal. It was at one time, for sure. All the large often dark bulky furniture that was worth thousands is now hard to even give away and often broken down and added to the wood pile. Sorry, I said I was going to be nice and that was hurtful.
Third, think of decluttering and downsizing NOW as a gift of time for your loved ones. Think of the time and money you can save those you love by doing the hard work now. Instead of collecting and holding onto things, think about putting together a written family memoir. You can include pictures of the things that meant so much to you with the written story behind it. This practice can be therapeutic for yourself as well as a gift that can be easily treasured for many generations (and maybe even added to).
Fourth, now that you have free space you can highlight the items that you decided to keep. One of the things that I like to do with all my clients is to celebrate the work they have done. You have done the hard work of sorting through your treasures now is the time to celebrate by displaying and putting to use the pieces that you kept. You’ve created the space where you can see and appreciate the silver service set that your best friend gifted you from her travels that has been hiding for years.
That may have been a tough one for some. But think of the freedom I have just gifted you and your loved ones. Our things can not only hold us back but if not dealt with can hinder the next generation. Remember it is your space and you get to choose how you live in it.